MY COMMENT: Excuse me, but did you voice your dissatisfaction about how you were treated with the restaurant manager before posting this on social media? Just asking.
HER RESPONSE: Who the (expletive) are you?
MY RESPONSE: Sorry but I figured that by immediately bringing it to management’s attention they may …
HER RESPONSE: Look dude, you don’t know me. I resent you judging what I chose to do. Mind your (expletive) business please.
Okay, looks like that didn’t go well.
But what’s interesting is the range of reactions to that exchange that spanned several days. For the most part they supported the woman, “Amen Sister” (dang, not a smidgen of support for yours truly.)
With that exchange which occurred a few years ago as my entre, let’s talk about our “pet peeves,” meaning behaviors we find especially annoying when done by others. What are some of yours? Well, while you’re gathering your thoughts, I’ll get us started.
The top of my list of pet peeves are those who talk while I’m watching a movie, are brain dead when it comes to simple etiquette or, yes, I’m old school, those who spew profanity in the presence of women.
Another pet peeve that’s muscling its way to the top of my list these days are people who slam a small business on social media based on a perceived slight without providing feedback for correction to the owners beforehand. Here’s a recent one about a Mexican restaurant I’ve supported for many years:
“My husband and I like to give small businesses our patronage. Tonight, after living here for years, we decided to go to “Restaurant X.” We walked in and got seated right away. This was the only positive thing I could say about the place. First, we waited 20 minutes for a server for our drink order. Second, when he finally took our order, he walked away so fast that my husband didn’t get to finish his order. Third, after waiting 30 minutes we still didn’t have food. At that point, we were done. We ended up leaving to go to another Mexican restaurant and will not be returning to “Restaurant X.”
Now what made this comment so bothersome was the fact that although I’d visited that restaurant at least three times during the past few months, the last time I noticed that I did not get served as quickly as I was accustomed to and that the food was overcooked. On the way out I saw the manager and gave him that feedback.
“I’m so sorry. Unfortunately, I’ve had to reduce staff because new restaurants opened nearby that have impacted on us more than we expected. We now have our one remaining cook double as waiter and dish washer. It’s been tough.”
Okay, what’s really going on here?
The truth is that we Americans complain a lot. An awful lot. Yes, I suppose that makes us no different from folks in other countries. However, while people in other countries complain about roving gangs, violent government coups, bombs dropped on their schools and hospitals and famine and starvation, we Americans complain about delays in trash pickups and Amazon deliveries, spikes in egg prices, or a paltry hamburger on the cheeseburger bought at Mickey Dee’s.
So, as I sit here thinking about an idea I’m toying around with – yes, a facetious one I’ll admit – it’s redefining we from the “United” States of America to perhaps the “Whining,” “Privileged,” “Spoiled” or “Coddled” States of America.
Seriously!
Now back to slamming businesses, I pose some questions for reflection to those who slam small and minority-owned businesses in social media without offering constructive feedback for correction beforehand:
1. What did you hope to accomplish by doing so?
2. Would you have posted that if the business owner or any of its employees were members of your family?
3. What are the potential residual effects of your comments on those who depend on jobs in that small business just to make ends meet?
4. Were you at all concerned that others who read your comment could be encouraged to avoid that business based on your alleged experience?
5. Could there have been unknown factors you weren’t aware of that impacted your experience?
6. What holds you back from pulling owners aside and giving them constructive feedback on the spot so that the problem can be addressed?
Without doubt people post things about their experience based on perfectly legitimate reasons. Others will show up at a minority owned establishment looking to confirm negative stereotypes. Note that sadly this even happens with individuals who share the same racial identity group as the business owners. Still others continue to support big name restaurants even after they’ve been treated badly but will not do so when it comes to supporting smaller ones.
Now for those willing to be fair to small and/or minority-owned businesses when your service expectations are unmet, pull their owners aside and share perceptions of your experience. They can’t fix what they aren’t aware of!
So when people post negative comments on social media about perceptions of their experiences with a business say something, do something. Regardless of the potential reaction, ask the person who posted the comment whether he/she provided immediate constructive feedback before leaving the establishment.
Above all apply the “GSFY” (Go See for Yourself) rule when you see negative comments posted on social media. That’s by far the best way to validate or contradict what was posted about the business.
The opinion here is that we need to be willing to step back and reconsider how we react when our expectations are unmet. That includes giving the gift of constructive feedback before letting your fingers do your talking – and hurting – by expressing your angst in social media. Can you think of a better New Year’s resolution than that?
Okay, gotta run now. I’ve invited a bunch of friends to meet me for lunch at “Restaurant X.”
Happy Holidays!
Terry Howard is an award-winning trainer, writer, and storyteller. He is a contributing writer with the Chattanooga News Chronicle, The American Diversity Report, The Douglas County Sentinel, Blackmarket.com, co-founder of the “26 Tiny Paint Brushes” writers guild, recipient of the 2019 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Leadership Award, and third place winner of the 2022 Georgia Press Award.
